Current in-brain background music:
“Peace of Mind,” Boston
Can check:
Coke Zero
Free legal advice:
Before you get too excited, read the lifetime warranty on your home repair work very carefully.
. . .
Nothing goes from ripe to rotten quicker than a tomato. One minute, it’s hanging perfectly on the vine, swollen with juiciness. The next, it’s a mushy dinner bell for every fruit fly within a half-mile radius. The first time we ever meet Mick in the Rocky movies, he asks Rocky, “You know what you are? You’re a tomato.”
But God, even by the standards of publicity-entitled PGA Tour players, the stench of decaying tomato has become overwhelming.
First, there was Rory McIlory, who began dodging reporters like blossom end rot (I’m sticking with tomato metaphors, deal with it) at the PGA Championship, after his driver was deemed nonconforming. When he finally came up for water at the U.S. Open with his first post-round media availability in a month, you might have wished he hadn’t bothered — blaming the assembled reporters for the first mildly critical media coverage of his career.
This week, the honor belongs to Collin Morikawa, he of exactly one win in the past four years. I won’t belabor you with the full backstory, but it ended with the words “I don't get why you would make me sound bad” bumbling out of Morikawa’s mouth.
Look. When it comes to media coverage, PGA Tour players have been babies for a long time. I’m not breaking any news here. But there are two things worth pointing out.
Number one, this is ridiculous. If you want people to take you seriously as a pro athlete, then grow a thicker skin. I love you, but you are not serious people.
Number two, this is bad for business. For years, the PGA Tour and golf media have co-existed in a symbiotic bubble: the Tour gives access, and golf media return the favor with glowing, uncritical coverage. Again, this is not breaking news. But for a sports league that claims to stay up at night thinking about Growing the Game,™ this back-scratching dynamic stifles interest from traditional media who might be interested in devoting more coverage to golf, albeit with a sliver of a critical eye when it’s deserved. The end result is an endless stream of Tour-sanctioned puff pieces rolled out by the same small handful of media outlets that can still keep a straight face while publishing it all.
. . .
Anyway. A few other scattered thoughts:
The NHL Draft is tonight. My beloved Washington Capitals pick 27th, so I guess I’ll tighten my belt and prepare to blow $200 on a new Caps jersey. I never know who’s who in the draft, but I wouldn’t hate to see Washington take a right-handed defenseman. John Carlson ain’t getting any younger, and it’d be nice to have a little depth ready to play in 2026-27.
I’ll be at a couple of Washington Nationals games next week. I think Mackenzie Gore is gonna pitch for the Nationals on Tuesday, and Wednesday is Brady House Rookie Season T-shirt Night. (I don’t know who Brady House is. It sounds like a nonprofit that does Section 8 advocacy.)
Oh hey, the new Superman movie comes out in a couple of weeks. If it sucks, then keep it to yourself. 2025 still has another six months left in it, and I need this.
. . .